Document: WM-103 P. Webb Category: Tech 2026-09-11 Arguments for Apple enthusiasts whenever an Android user Abstract Every Apple launch brings out the same tired discourse, are y’all not tired? Or is the release cadence giving y’all life? Body No one cares that Android has it first, did it first. Did they do it best? Of course not. The Android ecosystem at large doesn’t try to be best, they aim for decent and wrap that in Apple-esque hardware design at a price point that emboldens their fans to stick it to the iSheep excited about what their ecosystem of choice is releasing. Isn’t it interesting how fervent Android fans try to get Apple fans to stop buying Apple products? I’ve never once seen or heard of Apple fans telling their Android counterparts to stop buying those products; they don’t give a shit. It’s giving Mad Men. 📸[I don’t think about you at all][IMG1] Anyhoo, all the hooplah surrounding Apple’s new foldable iPhone has vocal Android users losing their fucking minds. The cherry-picking and trolling is annoying but I have time today (and this will come in handy for future launches). DROID: *smugly* Android did it first, welcome to the club. YOU: Congrats, and? DROID: Heh, we’ve had this for YEARS and y’all are just now hip. YOU: Y’all have had years to sway Apple fans…what happened? DROID: You Apple users just want status symbols. YOU: Your finances have nothing to do with mine, stop projecting. DROID: My Samsung WD40 BeefKnockle has better specs than this trash. YOU: Okay, and? Enjoy your device. I could go on. The point is, if people want to stay in a disjointed ecosystem, they can do that. Just stop using so many words to explain why you don’t wanna spend the money. It’s fine. Objectively, having a suite of products and experiences that (for the most part) gel well together and look good together is desired. It’s called having taste. Android phone, Dell laptop, Fitbit…congrats? Enjoy? Who cares. Everyone has opinions about Apple products and the people who buy them. The inverse NEVER happens. I don’t ever think of these people. One of my best friends is an Android enthusiast and he doesn’t care about my product choices and the feeling’s mutual. And guess what? My favorite phones are the Palm Pre[1] and Sharp’s AQUOS Crystal[2]. I guess weird form factors are my thing. I’m a millennial futurist, what’d you expect? Anyhoo, log off every once in awhile. Step outside and look at the sky, that’s good for your health. Remember you’re human and maybe consider shutting the fuck up sometimes. 🕸️ References [1] [2] [IMG1]