Document: WM-103                                                 P. Webb
Category: Tech                                                2026-09-11

        Arguments for Apple enthusiasts whenever an Android user

Abstract

   Every Apple launch brings out the same tired discourse, are y’all not
   tired? Or is the release cadence giving y’all life?

Body

   No one cares that Android has it first, did it first. Did they do it
   best? Of course not. The Android ecosystem at large doesn’t try to be
   best, they aim for decent and wrap that in Apple-esque hardware
   design at a price point that emboldens their fans to stick it to the
   iSheep excited about what their ecosystem of choice is releasing.

   Isn’t it interesting how fervent Android fans try to get Apple fans
   to stop buying Apple products? I’ve never once seen or heard of Apple
   fans telling their Android counterparts to stop buying those
   products; they don’t give a shit. It’s giving Mad Men.

   

   Anyhoo, all the hooplah surrounding Apple’s new foldable iPhone has
   vocal Android users losing their fucking minds. The cherry-picking
   and trolling is annoying but I have time today (and this will come in
   handy for future launches).

   DROID: smugly Android did it first, welcome to the club.
   YOU: Congrats, and?

   DROID: Heh, we’ve had this for YEARS and y’all are just now hip.
   YOU: Y’all have had years to sway Apple fans…what happened?

   DROID: You Apple users just want status symbols.
   YOU: Your finances have nothing to do with mine, stop projecting.

   DROID: My Samsung WD40 BeefKnockle has better specs than this trash.
   YOU: Okay, and? Enjoy your device.

   I could go on. The point is, if people want to stay in a disjointed
   ecosystem, they can do that. Just stop using so many words to explain
   why you don’t wanna spend the money. It’s fine.

   Objectively, having a suite of products and experiences that (for the
   most part) gel well together and look good together is desired. It’s
   called having taste. Android phone, Dell laptop, Fitbit…congrats?
   Enjoy? Who cares.

   Everyone has opinions about Apple products and the people who buy
   them. The inverse NEVER happens. I don’t ever think of these people.
   One of my best friends is an Android enthusiast and he doesn’t care
   about my product choices and the feeling’s mutual. And guess what? My
   favorite phones are the Palm Pre[1] and Sharp’s AQUOS Crystal[2]. I
   guess weird form factors are my thing. I’m a millennial futurist,
   what’d you expect?

   Anyhoo, log off every once in awhile. Step outside and look at the
   sky, that’s good for your health. Remember you’re human and maybe
   consider shutting the fuck up sometimes. 🕸️